Plain
by Really Bad Eggs
Summary: Julian was plain, Julian liked plain, and Julian liked being plain. And that was all there was too it. Until one Saturday in September, he decides it's time to be a little rebellious. Basically, a story about the most boring guy in the universe.


**Plain**  


  
Julian was plain, Julian liked plain, and Julian liked being plain.   
  
Julian's life was plain. He'd wake up in the morning, always at 7:30, get up, brush his teeth, take a shower, get dressed, comb his hair (always exactly the same way), and eat breakfast, which was always a bagel with cream cheese and coffee. He would then spend a few minutes glancing over the headlines of his newspaper, and then head off to work. He would always arrive at work at exactly nine o'clock. He worked a desk job at an office which made lined paper. His job was plain, and he liked it.  
  
At about one o'clock, it was time for lunch. He would go across the street to a small diner, and he would always order the same thing. A burger with lettuce, cheese, and tomato, a side of fries, and a diet coke. By 1:30, he would be back in his office. He always worked until six. At six, he would walk out to his car (a white toyota), and drive home. He always arrived home at exactly 6:30. When he got home, it was time for dinner. Dinner was sometimes different. He always cooked it at home, in his small kitchen. He might have spaghetti, or pork chops, or if he was feeling tired, a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Afterwards, he would sit down and watch the end of the evening news on television, before making sure all the lights in his house were turned off, and then brushing his teeth and getting ready for bed. He wore white pajamas to bed, and they were very plain.  
  
Julian's apartment was plain. It was small, because it didn't need to be large. He was the only one living in it, and he didn't plan to change that any time soon. His bedroom had white walls, a white dresser, and an oak single bed with a patchwork quilt on it. He also had a bedside table (white), which had on it a small lamp and an alarm clock. Above his bed, there was a print of a Monet painting, but that was the only thing on the walls. The only other object in his room was a small, four-foot white bookshelf, on which could be found titles such as **David Copperfield **and **The Diary of Anne Frank**. His bathroom was connected to his bedroom, and had white walls, a white tiled floor, a shower stall, a sink, and a medicine cabinet.   
  
  
The next room was his living room. He considered this room quite radical. The walls and carpeting were tan. Inside it were a small couch, and a coffee table, on which one could usually find a large volume entitled Teas and Coffees of the World'. The only other object in this room was his small, black and white television. The final room was the kitchen, which was the smallest room, next to the bathroom. It housed a refrigerator, a stove, a sink, a microwave, a clock on the wall, and a few cabinets, but that was pretty much it. There was also a very small table with a single wooden chair in one corner, on which he ate his dinner.  
  
Basically, Julian was plain, and he liked it. But today, September the fourth, a Saturday, Julian was feeling rambunctious.   
  
Usually, despite what day it was, Julian never took any days off from work, not even Sundays. However, today he could not go to work for the simple reason that the area of the building that he worked in, was being recarpeted, and he was off for the next day. He felt he was due to get off his schedule for a day, so, feeling very rowdy, he set his alarm clock for eight instead of 7:30 the night before.   
  
When he woke up, he was feeling very refreshed, and decided to be a rebel and wait until **after** he took his shower to brush his teeth. After getting ready (he wore his normal white polo shirt and nice white silk pants), and elated by his boldness so far, he decided to go even further. He phoned his best (and only) friend, Steve, who worked at a company near his that made staplers, and arranged to meet at Starbucks for breakfast. they met at nine, and Julian had a bagel with cream cheese and coffee (he couldn't bring himself to eat anything else).   
  
During the meal, he talked with his friend about rebellious things such as permanent markers, plumbing, and the color blue. They finished breakfast at ten, and then decided to do something that Julian hadn't done in years, not since he graduated from college, and rent a movie.   
  
They walked over to a nearby Blockbusters and spent about half an hour looking for the perfect movie. They finally settled on a flick called Tea With Mussolini'. Then, realizing that neither had a VCR, rented one of those also. When they got back to Julian's apartment around 10:45, they realized that they had no idea how to set up the VCR. It took them the better part of an hour before Steve, being the brilliant man that he was, figured out that getting it to work involved plugging things in. After about another hour of fiddling with it, they finally broke it. It took them another fifteen minutes to figure out they had done that.   
  
Steve said he had to go, and offered to return the movie and the VCR, then left. Julian glanced at the clock. It was only one. He decided that he had had a very tiring and rebellious day already, and wanted to spend the rest of it doing something a little more plain. He made himself a sandwich, and then grabbed a book from his room, **The Norton Anthology of English Literature**, and sat down on his couch to read. He had decided he rather preferred his plain lifestyle, and couldn't wait to get back to it. He considered painting his living room walls white.  
  
Julian was plain, Julian liked plain, and Julian liked being plain. And that was all there was to it. 


End file.
